Every year at the end of December, usually immediately after splurging on presents, vacations, lavish celebrations or insane amounts of baked goods and Christmas leftovers, people who follow the belief that the year begins again on the 1st of January make all these "promises" to themselves or to God to change, improve, kick, or experience something as soon as the new year begins and stick with it.
What a load of shit!
Let's be honest, folks. Whats the number 1 resolution among people in the United States? Weight loss. Now while i do agree that the ambition to lose weight is a wonderful thing and those who actually stay committed to this pledge is fantastic and i wish them the best in that endeavor. However, like a lot of things in this world and usually American society, once something gets hard or boring or too time consuming without an easy pay-off, it gets dropped. I can name at LEAST 4 times when i broke a resolution before January was even over.
Other people chose to be more generous. Some decide to give up chocolate(like its fucking Lent). Many even say they will give up their vices like gambling, drugs, alcohol, bad ex's, over priced shoes and hand bags (bitches in Miami have a thing about these). But we ALL know if you don't have that special magic serum that Blade used on Whistler in the sequel, ain't nobody going cold turkey just like that.
I think its admirable that people chose to see themselves in a happier place or a better position in life, I just think its stupid to wait on the end of the year to change those things you don't like, then blame that same date you waited on when you fuck it up and return back to that same person you were December 30th.
"So, bitch," you may be thinking. "What do YOU think we should do since you've got it all figured out?" Well, you smug sounding douche bag, it just so happens i DO have a solution to your bullshit resolution (you know you like that). It is simply this: if you plan to make a promise to GOD, the universe for you atheists out there or even to a lost love one or just a personal one, make it doable. Make it something worthwhile and something original, innovative (at least to your standards) and something you wont feel too shitty about when you call it quits.
Usually resolutions are harder to pick back up on when you fail the first few times and its usually because you set the bar too damn high. For those looking to lose a few extra pounds, don't do some crazy shit like INSANITY when you don't even like running! Try dancing in the privacy of your house or just doing some extra cleaning around your place because the extra movement is what helps you to look and feel better. Don't go for some stupid high weight loss number like 50 lbs right off the bat. Start small like 10 or even 5 if its really that hard for you. Drink more water and eat less junk. You, chick trying to stop smoking, or guy who wants to slow down his drinking; be subtle, most likely people know you drink and smoke so ask for help. Tell people to keep an eye on how much you drink or smoke. Write down how many packs you go through a week or how many shots you take a night and try to drop that by 1 or 2 numbers.
Hey broke chick constantly spending money on stuff when you don't make that much to begin with (i myself fall under this category) try and only spend money on things you absolutely must have. If you see a pair of jeans on sale, yes its ok if you had to get rid of 2 pairs at home because they were raggity, but don't just by a new pair a boots or heels because you bought a new dress or shirt and have nothing to wear it with. If you knew you didn't have anything to wear it with you shouldn't have bought it! Try and save $25 from each check for personal shopping then go every 2 months or so. Now that's something even I can stick to.
And #1 people; stop trying so hard with everything. Look at the state of our world, our country our economy. People sort of want fast results but we all know it doesn't work like that in life, so why the fuck would it work for a resolution you don't even HAVE to set? Try baby steps. That's how we fix ourselves and the things around us. Baby steps.
I hope this little rant has been helpful to at least one person, cuz that means i did my job and to others, please don't send me hate mail cuz that's just going to get me started on a whole other blog which only helps me and embarrasses you.
Until next time
Happy Blogging
Theory
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